Day 206: Kauai

We've hit a new low: 50 days. This, if nothing else, has proven my theory: blogging is really really ridiculously harder than you'd think. I know it shouldn't be, and the idea of it is relatively simple, and yet here we are, 50 days later, as I'm about to write yet another apology letter to the blogosphere.

But I won't. I just can't go on like this. I just have to accept the fact that I'm not a professional blogger, you're not paying for this content (hmmm, maybe I should start...nah), and lower my expectations of myself.

No! I can't! I won't! This is a Grade-A blog, and I won't lower myself to anything...lower. You have expectations. I have let you down. And I (probably) won't let it happen again. After all, you were warned on Day 156 that October 2010 is a month that will live in Wade Family infamy. And yes, I realize it's November.

So how about an update? Of everything that happened to us in that fateful month, one thing sticks out way above the rest: Kauai. So let's focus on that, shalst we? Gill and I shot a lot of video while we were there, but for now, since I'm 30,000 feet in the air on my way back to LA, I'll give you the text version.

I've got to say, our babymoon voyage to Kauai was quite possibly the best vacation…ever? It just might have been. And it felt more like vacation than anything else I've ever been a part of. There was (almost) no buildup, as Gill and I worked and worked and traveled and worked until the day we left. So when we finally did, it was like one giant, week-long exhale. I planned on doing a day-by-day blog update, but like everything else associated with this blog, I dropped the ball. Or maybe I was a little too relaxed. But here's a quick synopsis as far as I can remember.

The first notable event of the trip was one that I was glad I got out of the way early. When we checked into our hotel, sadly, the first thing on my mind was "I better set my fantasy roster while I'm thinking about it." And that's when my heart dropped. Where was my backpack?! Oh snap!! We had switched rental cars (free upgrade - booya!) and I must have left it in the old one! Before the fear of losing my office laptop, iPad, flip video camera and cell phone had fully set in, Gill and I were flying back to the airport in our (upgraded) Jeep Liberty. I'm not sure there's too many better feelings in this world than what I felt when I saw the Thrifty woman walk in with my backpack in tow. Crisis averted. Let the vacation begin.

We spent the first few days on the east side of the island at the Kauai Beach Resort, which was lovely, to quite lovely. It was late, we were hungry, and we needed some groceries. So it was off to Foodland and our first meal of the trip. And what better place than…Pizza Hut. Before you judge, have you ever eaten Pizza Hut? I rest my case. As for our second meal? McDonalds…inside a Walmart. To be fair, everyone knows McDonalds has the best breakfast in the world, despite the location, so I don't really see what the problem is. Besides, we needed some sunscreen and couldn't resist the sweet smell of Egg McMuffins.

We spent the majority of the first day by the pool, carefully soaking up rays in the pre-tanned areas of my body. Hey, look, I wasn't about to get the trip-ruining first-day burn that I've gotten in the past. Sure, I looked ridiculous in jeans by the pool, but so what? No no, I kid, I kid. It was sweatpants. No no, kidding again. I'm on a roll today. Let's move on. That night we ate at the Barefoot Bar of a little joint called Duke's…ok, so it's sort of a Hawaiian chain, but it was delicious - got my first fish and chips of the trip.

The second day, Gill and I ventured out to the Mariott in Lihue, home of the largest single-level pool in Hawaii. It was more Vegas than Hawaii, but we enjoyed the fountains and taking laps around the monstrosity. First, though, we took on the task of securing our place at the resort. And that meant getting towels. Towels are truly the key to the city when it comes to resorts in Kauai. Every hotel has a different design, and once you strap one of those to your chair, you're home free. Getting them is the dicey part, but fortunately I have a wife that fears nothing, especially the wrath of pool security. When she says she's going to get towels, there's little doubt in my mind that she'll pull it off. After one trip around the pool area, Gill found an abandoned massage cabana, and with it, two glorious towels. Home free. So with renewed confidence, we ordered lunch by the pool (one of the best meals we had) and also had our first Hawaiian shaved ice experience. The size of it was impressive to us at the time, but that's before we hit the jackpot (more on that later). Later that afternoon, we spent about an hour or so in our hotel room watching none other than Monday Night Football. And for you guys out there, tell me something: Is there anything better than lying in a king-size bed with your wife watching Monday Night Football in Kauai? Anyways, that night, we ate at Kauai Pasta, which was delicious. I spilled oil on my jeans though, which I spent the rest of the trip trying to get out. I eventually did, but not without the service of 3 wash cycles and one stain remover from, you guessed it, Walmart.

I'm realizing two things at this point:
1. This is a much more detailed account of the trip than I was anticipating writing, so feel free to skip ahead to more recent events if you feel so led.
2. I have a great memory, don't you think? I do.

The third day, Gill and I decided we had been way too lazy, and it was time for some adventure. But not before a 90-minute drive to the west side of the island. Wailea Canyon is where we were headed, and as Gill pointed out numerous times, it's often referred to as the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific". Majestic. We hiked up a trail and found our way to a small, beautiful lagoon at the base of a waterfall, where Gill and I took a break for a little while. It was definitely one of those "we're the only people in the world" kind of places. Very memorable. When we got back to the hotel, we spent a little time at the pool before getting rained out, which was a fairly common theme on the east side of the island - it would rain for 5 minutes, we'd duck under some palm trees or umbrellas, it would clear up for an hour, and we'd repeat the cycle. But we didn't mind - rainy paradise is better than no paradise at all, right? Right.

The fourth day was, without a doubt, the most adventurous day we've spent together…maybe ever. We wanted to kayak down the Wailea River, and instead of choosing the guided tour, we saw an opportunity to save about $50 and venture out by ourselves. This was a great decision by the way - nobody to slow you up, nobody to distract you from the scenery, and the slight tinge of danger to spice things up. Paddling down the river was extremely easy, so much so that we decided to take a detour to the Fern Grotto, which was past our turnoff. As we approached the bank, I told Gill that she was going to need to jump off the kayak (she was in the front) when we got to shore. The problem? She thought I told her to jump off immediately. So she did. And freaked out. Rightfully so, I might add - it's not easy to pull yourself up onto a kayak when you're pregnant. And it didn't help matters that she saw a snake in the water about 10 feet from her. Of course, we later learned that there are no snakes in Hawaii, but that didn't help at the time. Gill lost her sandals in the river, she was traumatized, and we decided to forego the Grotto. We docked at what amounted to a kayak parking lot on the other side of the river and hiked to the "Secret Falls"…which aren't too secret - there were at least 20 other people there. But it was beautiful, we ate lunch (Subway - hitting all the hot spots!), and I took a plunge into the waterfall. It was glorious. The trip back? Not so much. We quickly realized why the voyage downriver was so easy - the current and about a 20 mph wind, which was now directly in our face. We were blown into the reeds a few times, but after about 45 minutes of grueling paddling, we made it safely back to our car. We both decided then and there that we had just finished our last adventure for the trip. It was time to do some serious relaxing. But before we got to that, we stopped and got what we now consider the best shaved ice of our lives. This thing was (no joke) at least 14 inches tall and one of the best things I've ever eaten in my life. We never made it back for another one, but I guarantee you it won't be my last shaved ice from Ono Family Restaurant.

The next day, we checked out of our first hotel and headed to the most relaxing place on earth: Poipu Beach. We checked into the Sheraton and immediately went to work relaxing by the pool. We also revisited our old honeymoon haunt - the Grand Hyatt Resort, by far my favorite hotel in the entire world. And while we were there, Gill took another "trip" around the pool…and naturally, returned with two towels. Jackpot!! We spent the next (our last) two days at the Hyatt's ridiculous pool and lagoon, and if there's a better definition of paradise, I don't know it.

Our last night there, we decided to go all-out on dinner, revisiting our favorite restaurant on the island: Tidepools (at the Hyatt). We had one of the best tables overlooking the koi pond, had some delicious food, and reminisced. I think we both realized that night how special the trip had been, spending an amazing week with each other exactly 5 years after our honeymoon. We had come to the same place to usher in a new stage of life, and it was a fairly emotional night. I think it was one of the first times we fully realized how different our lives will be with our new baby coming into the world, and while we're extremely excited, we also know that there's some sadness and closure to the life we've experienced as a married couple. I'm even getting choked up just writing about it again. The Lord has definitely blessed us, that much we both know.

We flew back overnight and got into LA around 5:30am on Sunday (Halloween) morning. After getting about 4 hours of sleep when we got back to our place, we started the re-acclimation period by picking up Lady and going to Ikea. And if anyone knows me, they know that Ikea is one of my least favorite places on earth (second only to outlet malls), but it's much better when you actually have something to shop for, like a new apartment. We spent that night with the Roberts and Dubach's showering Sam (who was dressed as a hamburger, along with Lady dressed as a hot dog) with all the candy he could eat.

And so ended our amazing vacation. If you read all of this, I'm both appreciative and impressed. You're a true friend…or my mom. Either way, it's good to be blogging again.